I have a precious grandmother from England who frequently reminded me, growing up, that “A watched pot never boils”. Among her numerous tongue-twisters and clever proverbs, this one frustrated me the most. Why, you wonder? Because it’s true, and also because I can’t seem to forget it. The lesson behind the lyric holds that time seemingly slows down when we’re waiting for something to happen…
Needless to say, patience has yet to prove itself as one of my stronger virtues. I try to blame the same-day-delivery world we now live in, but when I look past the Amazon scapegoat, I know it has more to do with my discomfort and restlessness with navigating the unknown.
Wading through uncertainty has been a salient life-theme for me these past few years… try as I might to flirt, flounce or dress it up to feel like spontaneity or freedom… I know what’s behind the filters. In a delicious coincidence of scrolling my minutes away on the ‘Gram, I happened upon this little bit from one of my favorite authors, Elizabeth Gilbert:
“…curiosity (the opposite of certainty) makes me soften into a sense of deep peace….You would think it would be the opposite—that certainty, which we all seem to seek and crave with a near desperate urgency—would bring peace. But it doesn’t. Not for me. Certainty makes my mind and my world contract…Curiosity—the open-hearted courage to say “Hmmm….I don’t know, actually, but let’s see. Let’s find out. Could be anything, really…This person could surprise me. I could surprise me. Tomorrow could surprise me…I have no idea. There. Peace. Instantly.”
…Who knew this token of Big Magic would offer itself up between stops on the uptown 1? Curiosity… A sumptuous life-raft to weather the rough-seas we’ve all been looking for…there for us the whole time. Allowing us to see uncertainty through a lens of opportunity rather than a rippled reflection of our every self-doubt – what an affordable revelation.
Since retiring from the stage, I frequently get lost in (pummeled by) thought trains of what I want to become “when I grow up”. Truth is, I have all the new years to find out— we all do really, despite the deceptions of what scrolling through everyone’s #BestLife’s lead us to believe.
For now, I’ll be fishing for the deep peace by staying curious, grasping for answers in the dark…finding switches on the universe’s time— and not one uncertain second before.
My grandmother says {uncertain}tea makes everything better.
The stronger brews take time.
xx, S